self-defeating patterns

Why are only children more prone to enmeshment than sibling children?

One-child families have a higher than normal incidence of what is sometimes called ‘emotional incest’, which can lead to an enmeshed relationship. When there is no other child to dilute the intensity of the parent-child bond everything about the only child is watched closely, including their health, physical development, school performance, talents, weaknesses, and achievements to an extent that can be obsessive. Parental enmeshment is more common because there is only one child to focus upon and more detrimental as there is no other child to dilute this attention. The power and intensity of the relationship can be overwhelming and prevent the child from developing a sense of who they are as a separate individual. How does enmeshment occur? Enmeshment is literally – giving yourself away to another – living outside of yourself.   Enmeshment occurs when a mother or father’s wounded-ness contaminates their ability to parent their child because [...]

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