I receive many emails from mothers and sometimes fathers who are not sure whether to have another child or not, so I thought I would post this recent email from a younger only child adult. Whist ideally no parent gets divorced or looses a partner – leaving them alone with just a child for company. The reality is that it can happen, and will put an extra strain on one child who may not have another person to talk too. This is the ‘role reversal’ the writer speaks about. Having to ‘parent a parent’ can be extremely damaging to adolescent development, particularly when they are the only one to support a parent. This is because the young person cannot get on and develop the ability to psychologically separate from a parent who is relying on them emotionally. This will keep them in a semi-dependent state until the parent is ready [...]
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I note with both interest and a great deal of pleasure that I have received a number of emails after my recent posts on the characteristic of adult onlies, as partners. Not just from adult onlies but also their partners. I am now going to post some of the former as they offer more insights into the range of only child experience to both onlies and non-onlies! You will soon see familiar themes! I believe other people’s stories help us to feel more comfortable with our own experience. When you have no siblings to share your memories, and you move into middle age, there is often no one to help you remember incidents from your early life or share and compare experiences. I think this often leaves onlies feeling separate and apart from others and this, I believe, becomes greater the older we get, especially after the death of our parents. [...]
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