Only child adult challenges in relationships: 1. Introdcution 2. Dealing with the need for space and intimacy 3. Dealing with conflict 4. Dealing with one’s own parents Continuing with the theme of only child adults as partners, and having looked at the first three of the above four issues, I will now look at the often thorny problem of relationships with parents and how they can impinge on the partnership with the only child adult. Why can parents of onlies be such a problem in a relationship? Well of course like many other situations it is not always the case that parents are a problem! I don’t think my own parents were at all problematic in my relationships. However from the emails I receive and the couples and individuals I have worked with, it is clear that some people do experience problems with what I would describe as the intrusiveness of their parents. A recent post “What do I do?” gives [...]
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Since I posted Durango’s article on only child syndrome there has been quite a lot of response – so I thought I would post some of my research and thoughts. The word syndrome taken from the Greek word ‘sundromos’ meaning ‘running together’, is used for a group of symptoms that collectively indicate or characterize a disease or psychological disorder, and can be attributed to a distinctive or characteristic pattern of behaviour. The strong medical connotations and the negative meaning usually attached to the word syndrome makes the word emotive and in many ways derogatory to the experience of the only-child. However I will explore this so called ‘syndrome’ from only child literature, popular ideas and prejudice. Shil1978 wrote in ‘Pros and Cons of Being The Only Child’: The advantages could be that you get the undivided love and attention of your parents. They would dote on you more and [...]
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