In this post I am taking up where I left off in: Why should we try and disentangle our self from an enmeshed relationship? I am going to describe Dawn as someone who gives us an insight into how difficult it can be to leave home and be independent when the pressure from a parent to stay is considerable. However with support the importance of making this decision at any age is possible and beneficial to all. Dawn: Going from in-dependence to independence Living with her mother, Dawn has never felt able to leave home, particularly since her father died. Her mother was widowed in her forties and although Dawn had a brief time apart from her family when she went to college, once she began teaching she found it more convenient to live at home. Her mother actively encouraged this, she did not work and Dawn’s father was away [...]
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Why should we try and disentangle our self from an enmeshed relationship? The reasons, as I stated in my previous post, are that when psychological separation is missing, the following can occur: A lack of a sense of self A lack of control over one’s life A potential for low self-esteem A feeling of being a ‘victim’ rather than an ‘author’ of one’s life. I would add to this, that one of the difficulties of being enmeshed as a child is that we do not know any other way to relate to others. It means we take this pattern of relating and do the same to our partner, and child/ren and this can feel very suffocating to the recipient. Especially when this is passed on to ones child/ren, because it does not facilitate them acquiring healthy psychological development. So how do we disentangle our selves from an enmeshed relationship? If [...]
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