dependence

Is being independent such a good thing?

Western culture and American culture particularly prizes the independent personality – the man and presumably woman – who can get on with his/her own life, make his/her own decisions, be self–sufficient, go it alone, beholden to know one. Only children can be brought up to be particularly independent, sometimes by design, at other times a result of being on the periphery of their parent/s relationship. (The opposite, of course, is the only child who is overly protected, coddled and who is anything but self – sufficient – however this post is not about them!) Learning to be independent is a good thing as we cannot expect to rely on someone all of the time – this has been a problem with some Chinese only children who have been so cocooned from the harsh realities of life that they often have a sense of entitlement which makes living with others hard. [...]

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Life Stages: Infancy

Life Span Theory has been popular as it shows us what the expectations and challenges are at different stages in our life. The theory is based on the idea that during our lives we go through developmental stages and that each stage has unique characteristics, which serve as the building blocks for the next stage. If the tasks of one stage are not complete we take them into the next. I thought this was an interesting model to adapt to the psychological development of only children who grow up without one of the significant social and emotional resources that help to navigate these crucial developmental stages – that is siblings. Undertaking in-depth interviews with adult only children over several years, the importance of looking at three areas of the only child experience was highlighted.  The first is the internal world of the only-child; the second is the inter-subjective world that [...]

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