Are only child adults difficult partners? (Parents)

Only child adult challenges in relationships: 1.   Introdcution 2.   Dealing with the need for space and intimacy 3.  Dealing with conflict 4.  Dealing with one’s own parents Continuing with the theme of only child adults as partners, and having looked at the first three of the above four issues, I will now look at the often thorny problem of relationships with parents and how they can impinge on the partnership with the only child adult. Why can parents of onlies be such a problem in a relationship? Well of course like many other situations it is not always the case that parents are a problem! I don’t think my own parents were at all problematic in my relationships. However from the emails I receive and the couples and individuals I have worked with, it is clear that some people do experience problems with what I would describe as the intrusiveness of their parents. A recent post “What do I do?” gives [...]

Read more…

Cutting the Ties

How to cut the ties and become independent In a previous post: Do you need to seperate psychologically from your parents? I offered some questions to ask yourself. Now here are some answers to enable you to cut the ties! One of the difficulties of separation is that it takes two: child and parent. It is very hard for an adolescent to separate if the parent makes it difficult to do so becasue they fear losing the child to adulthood. A parent who does not want to let go emotionally and allow their child to develop as an individual and separate psychologically in adulthood makes it extremely difficult for that process to happen. Pressure can be subtle or otherwise to discourage separation and you may be told that you are selfish or unkind if you to want that psychological space. This is particularly difficult for the adult only who holds [...]

Read more…