blame

Only and lonely child!

Message from New Zealand I have read other people’s accounts and it has brought me some relief to know that I am certainly not the only one to suffer from being an only and lonely child… Not only has this been the issue of my life, but I STILL cry at the mention of any kind of brother/sister bonding. Literally, I CRY. The envy eats me up inside. I cannot help but feel jealous and ask the inevitable “WHY”… It hurts so much, no one will ever know or feel it. People can only empathize so much but they will never know how it’s like to grow up alone, ALONE. Even my family and cousins lived abroad. I only had mySELF and my parents- who were never on good terms anyway. Relationships? Who in God’s name knows HOW they can succeed? I have had problems with the dynamics of communication [...]

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Why do you blame all your problems on not having siblings?

Here is the sort of email I often receive which shows how angry people with siblings can be and as you will see it is a lot to do with envy. Envy of the close relationship some onlies have with their parents and envy of the material benefits. Compounded by the fact that of course not everyone gets on with their siblings!! I can’t believe you feel having no brothers or sisters is the root of all onlies’ problems. What about all the miserable people out their WITH siblings?  What do they blame THEIR childhood/adult issues on? I have a sister and I always envied my cousins who were onlies, and I had quite a few of them. They always had nicer things, seemed closer with their parents, grew up and are doing well and are definitely not “alone in the world” as they are married with kids of their [...]

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