In my previous post to C, I outlined the consequences that an enmeshed parental relationship can have on both parties. I will continue with this theme and explore the conflict and anger that these types of relationships can lead to and how this can be challenged in a constructive way. Conflict is a normal part of a relationship because we are individuals with different experiences, expectations, hopes and fears. When we are in a close relationship with anyone there will be times when conflict emerges through difference. This is perfectly healthy. It is how it is managed that can create problems. If we take the enmeshed relationship, where both parties feel responsible for the other and no sense of a separate identity has been encouraged, conflict can feel devastating. It is almost as if you are at war with your self. This is because in a sense you are, having [...]
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Only child adult challenges in relationships: 1. Introduction 1. Dealing with the need for space and intimacy 2. Dealing with conflict 3. Dealing with one’s own parents I am continuing with the theme of only child adults as partners and having looked at the first two of the four issues I believe only child adult can be challenged by, I am now going to revisit conflict. Dealing with Conflict I have already written about this in ‘So how does the only child adult deal with conflict?’ which I can sum up here by saying that:- we tend to avoid dealing with it appropriately! Instead, on the one hand, we either deny we are upset, sulk, or walk out or on the other hand, we indulge in out-bursts of fury and hostility. The appropriate way, is to be calm, talk about the issues involved, be open to the other person’s opinion, negotiate and find a win – win solution. Any [...]
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