Guest Onlies

A perspective from the 1960′s

I hated being an only child and can remember asking every year if I could have a brother or sister for birthday or Christmas.  I was tired of always having all the latest games and toys but no-one to share them with, what is the point of having such wonderful things as they were perceived by other children if there was no-one to play them with?  I hated it I had a lonely and miserable experience as an only child.  Always over anxious to share or give my things away to others for to me they were but meaningless objects with no fun attached. Even now that I am 43 I will give someone my last penny share anything and everything and let people have what they want for the joy of sharing it with others.  I never enjoy activities on my own because all I remember was as a child being forced to experience everything alone.  So [...]

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A perspective from the 1980′s

Hello, I am an only child, now 22 year old adult. I hated being an only child and I struggled a lot with loneliness and grief. What extenuated the loneliness I felt was my dysfunctional family. Early Life: My mom more or less destroyed every shred of a relationship with her siblings, so I didn’t even have the ability to connect well with my extended family. I always longed for a sibling but because of my mother’s mental health issues, I wasn’t even allowed to own a pet, which broke my heart. I am a very social person by nature and the pain and isolation caused by my upbringing still haunts me to this day. I remember daydreaming and creating my own “dream family” complete with all kinds of siblings and pets. It was my way of trying to survive. To this day, I feel as though I have a difficult time relating to small children because I did not have [...]

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How I noticed the stereotyping of the only child – A mother’s view

Vivian Cameron-Gallo writes about her experience of having an only child and how it prompted her to write a book to promote the positive experiences of a family of three: I never really observed the only child labels before, they really didn’t affect me having grown up with an older sister. My Dad is an only child but I never seemed to have been exposed to the stereotypes of the only child with regard to my Dad. Maybe this was because he was five years old when the Great Depression began here in America. Many families were smaller at this time as people were struggling to make ends meet and one more mouth to feed would have been a hardship. Kids growing up during this era were resilient. My Dad would never fit the stereotypes of the only child. I couldn’t possibly imagine anyone calling him spoiled, selfish or lonely, in fact he is quite the opposite. So [...]

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Arianna – I’ve had a wonderful life!

I met Arianna, without her borsalino, on a Greek island beach. Now in her 70’s she told me so many fascinating stories that I wanted to share some of these with my fellow AOC’s! Arianna, an only child of parents’ in their 40’s, was brought up in a tiny village in old Czechoslovakia in the late 1930’s. She remembers an idyllic childhood. Once, on her birthday, she wanted a live bear and her father arranged for her to have one through the local zoo – although it never happened because war broke out. Her father was from a gypsy family and a highly gifted musician whilst her mother was an aristocrat and her family were not happy about the marriage.  Arianna was brought up by constantly changing nannies and her education was primarily music and poetry from her father. She played the piano from the age of three and by [...]

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Only Child Syndrome: Stereotyping In Disguise!

  Here is an interesting article and the start of some research from 17 year old Alexandra Baker whose own experience has inspired her to do a project on only child stereotyping. If you want to take part click the link below! Link to the survey: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/6HJDBWZ Alexandra says: As an only child, I have been intrigued (and often angered!) by the comments made by others who say all only children are lonely spoiled brats who are unable to share. Where has this unfair presumption come from? I am a 17-year-old student from the UK and my first-hand experience of such negative comments has inspired me to undertake a project (Extended Project Qualification) looking into only children and how they are viewed by others. Through my project I hope to show that only children don’t deserve such unfair stereotyping. I’m sure many only children have overheard people talking about only children and heard them being described as ‘spoiled’, ‘lonely’ and [...]

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Trooper: A happy 80 year old only child.

Here is a heart warming story from ‘Trooper’ who celebrates his life as an only child demonstrating the challenges and ways to overcome them. I am now in my eighty third year and I am an “only child”.  I have never married, I have never felt the need to be tied. I walked away from all family ties after my mother passed away in 1982 (my father having pre deceased her) even before this I had little contact with the family at large for a number of years (my choice). It was made very plain to me at the age of six that I would be the only one, there would be no other siblings, so I had best understand I was to be my own man. My father was a professional soldier, and working hard to improve his position, my mother was a senior Civil Servant in the Foreign [...]

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A second child may prove to be a miracle too many…

Here is an article by Kate Brian, whose new book Precious Babies has just been released. Kate Brian is a writer and editor who has written four books about infertility, including The Complete Guide to IVF and The Complete Guide to Female Fertility. She was awarded for her work for Infertility Network UK and has been closely involved with the charity for many years. Kate regularly appears on radio and TV as an expert on fertility and has two children who were born after IVF treatment. Her latest book, Precious Babies, looks at pregnancy, birth and parenting after infertility and includes a chapter specifically aimed at parents who have an only child. Kate Brian: For anyone trying unsuccessfully to conceive, the idea of having one child would be the answer to every dream. When the dream becomes a reality, it can be surprising how quickly the possibility of trying again [...]

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Janel: 18 year old only

Being an only I am an only child who lives with my two parents. Since dad was from a family of ten children and mom was one of eight children, sharing possessions as children translated in such charity of today. On the other hand, I was raised as an only child who did not share much with them because I received all of their attention and resources. Therefore, I see myself as a little adult because my mom and I always talked about the news, politics, and good books. She also took me on field trips to different places within the tri-State area; in fact, my dad always bought me expensive gifts at times and tried to teach me life lessons that were often more humorous than serious. Being surrounded by just my two parents all my life was highly influential, yet sometimes it seemed overbearing. What I need as [...]

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An Eastern perspective

Thanks for giving me this wonderful opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings. After 34 years of being a single child to my aged parents, I would definitely say a big “NO NO” to being born and raised as the only child. I am going to support this with real life examples… My parents were not young when I was born, moreover it was a luv marriage. In a strictly caste conscious society, they didn’t have any of their relatives visiting us. This means no cousins to act as my siblings. Maybe, my ill-luck. Still, in the later part of my life, when I started to get in touch with my cousins, there was a clear line between cousins and siblings. When there was a need to search for alliance for marriage, nobody would take any steps. Whereas, when it came to searching for their own brothers and sisters, they spent [...]

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Has being an only child influenced my being a writer?

Lesley Thomson author of  ‘A Kind of Vanishing’ winner of the 2010 People’s Book Prize for Fiction. Now no 1 on Amazon with ‘The Detectives Daughter’. I am a novelist. Is my success due to my being an only child? Without siblings I doubtless had more time to myself. I remember many contented days when I read, painted pictures, moulded clay, constructed collages with electrical components donated by my father who built radios in his own, fewer, quiet moments. I had a happy childhood packed with people: my friends, my parents’ friends and many relations and those in stories. It was rumbustrous and busy with adventures constructed by myself and friends. In addition I had ‘imaginary friends’ whose lives I related to myself in bed at night. Thus I taught myself the principles of continuous narrative, no doubt influenced by The Archers to which my parents were regular listeners. I [...]

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