Guest Onlies

A second child may prove to be a miracle too many…

Here is an article by Kate Brian, whose new book Precious Babies has just been released. Kate Brian is a writer and editor who has written four books about infertility, including The Complete Guide to IVF and The Complete Guide to Female Fertility. She was awarded for her work for Infertility Network UK and has been closely involved with the charity for many years. Kate regularly appears on radio and TV as an expert on fertility and has two children who were born after IVF treatment. Her latest book, Precious Babies, looks at pregnancy, birth and parenting after infertility and includes a chapter specifically aimed at parents who have an only child. Kate Brian: For anyone trying unsuccessfully to conceive, the idea of having one child would be the answer to every dream. When the dream becomes a reality, it can be surprising how quickly the possibility of trying again [...]

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Janel: 18 year old only

Being an only I am an only child who lives with my two parents. Since dad was from a family of ten children and mom was one of eight children, sharing possessions as children translated in such charity of today. On the other hand, I was raised as an only child who did not share much with them because I received all of their attention and resources. Therefore, I see myself as a little adult because my mom and I always talked about the news, politics, and good books. She also took me on field trips to different places within the tri-State area; in fact, my dad always bought me expensive gifts at times and tried to teach me life lessons that were often more humorous than serious. Being surrounded by just my two parents all my life was highly influential, yet sometimes it seemed overbearing. What I need as [...]

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An Eastern perspective

Thanks for giving me this wonderful opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings. After 34 years of being a single child to my aged parents, I would definitely say a big “NO NO” to being born and raised as the only child. I am going to support this with real life examples… My parents were not young when I was born, moreover it was a luv marriage. In a strictly caste conscious society, they didn’t have any of their relatives visiting us. This means no cousins to act as my siblings. Maybe, my ill-luck. Still, in the later part of my life, when I started to get in touch with my cousins, there was a clear line between cousins and siblings. When there was a need to search for alliance for marriage, nobody would take any steps. Whereas, when it came to searching for their own brothers and sisters, they spent [...]

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Has being an only child influenced my being a writer?

Lesley Thomson author of  ‘A Kind of Vanishing’ winner of the 2010 People’s Book Prize for Fiction I am a novelist. Is my success due to my being an only child? Without siblings I doubtless had more time to myself. I remember many contented days when I read, painted pictures, moulded clay, constructed collages with electrical components donated by my father who built radios in his own, fewer, quiet moments. I had a happy childhood packed with people: my friends, my parents’ friends and many relations and those in stories. It was rumbustrous and busy with adventures constructed by myself and friends. In addition I had ‘imaginary friends’ whose lives I related to myself in bed at night. Thus I taught myself the principles of continuous narrative, no doubt influenced by The Archers to which my parents were regular listeners. I wrote down many of my stories and illustrated them. [...]

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‘Working the Room’ by Geoff Dyer

© Geoff Dyer. Extracted from ‘Working the Room’ by Geoff Dyer, to be published by Canongate on November 4th 2010 Almost half the children born in Britain today will never have a sibling. Geoff Dyer, acclaimed writer and only child, describes what it was like to grow up a singleton My mother often quoted with approval the maxim, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” Unfortunately she thought this was intended as an exhortation rather than a warning. The mother’s instinct to indulge her only child was thereby reinforced by a higher authority. I was so spoilt that on the day my parents unexpectedly came to pick me up at primary school in the middle of the morning – I was about 8 at the time – I told the teacher that it was probably because they wanted to buy me a toy. In fact, it was to go to [...]

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Alicia Staz who writes a blog called ‘Only Child Option’

I am the proud parent of a 5 year old only child.  He is our first and our last child.  Trust me when I say we encountered opposition. Both my family and my husband’s family “encouraged” us to reconsider. In the end we had to make the best choice for us.  One child completes our family and we are very comfortable with our decision.  Having one child carries a stigma for parents as well as for the child.  My solution is to write a blog on only child parenting.  I write about my experiences as a parent of an only child to help others make the decision on how many children is right for their family. I keep the pitfalls of only-child parenting in mind as I proceed through this thing called life.  I took care of a child my son’s age for the first 3 years of his life [...]

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