About

by on July 24, 2010

The original website of www.onlychild.org.uk  was set up by me, Bernice Sorensen twelve years ago in 2000, to share my research into the “Only Child Experience”. As an only child myself, I was trying to understand the only child experience, from the point of view of the adult only child rather than a parent of an only child, or a person with siblings. So the website was never specifically for children but only children who are now adults. I wanted to know how different only children understood and made meaning of their experience of growing up an only child, in a predominantly sibling society. Even twelve  years ago only-children were a  minority in the UK. I was particularly interested in getting in touch with only children at every stage of life. In fact the first email I received was from someone who described themselves as a ‘pensioner’ and since 2000 I have had literally thousands of emails from people sharing their only child stories and experience. Many of these stories are incorporated into my doctoral research and in my book ‘Only Child Experience and Adulthood’ published by Palgrave in 2008.

Over the years I have spent much time answering people’s emails, so in 2009 I set up an only child forum – Only Child Adult – so that people could speak to each other without having to go through me. However this year I had to take it down after continual harassment by people trying to use if for spam. This new site offers an opportunity to comment on previous emails, and a new departure -  to share your thoughts on some of the posts I will be writing regularly,  based on my ongoing research. It is always interesting to have thoughts and views from other onlies.

So many media stories are about the stereotype of the only child, it is often forgotten how this stereotype affects the only child growing up in a sibling society. There is a lot of evidence that the negative only child stereotype affects parents of onlies, which are demonstrated in articles in the press and various blogs – but what about the only children themselves? How does it affect them? Popular opinion in the 21st century says there is no marked difference between only children and those with siblings – BUT is this what only children believe, feel or experience? Have a look at the stories and my own posts to form your own opinion.

As I regularly have parents who have an only-child contact me; I now include  posts to answer some of the difficulties parents’ encounter as a parent of an only child. Again it is useful to have other perspectives so please feel free to comment.

On this website I have published some of my research and media articles  from The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Times and The Daily Mail. Occasionally I have commented on these articles in my posts, particularly when I think they contain misinformation.

There is also a section ‘Guest Onlies’ where people are invited or have requested to share their only child experience and share how they believe it has affected their lives or their view of the world. If you would like to contribute  please go to the ‘Contact ‘ page.

I am often asked to do live phone-ins on local radio and I am always happy to receive comments about these – so please use the Contact page.

Thanks for visiting

Bernice

You can find me on Google+

  • adultonlychild

    This website was set up by me, 10 years ago, to help with my research into the “Only Child Experience” from the point of view of the only child at every stage of life, so this site is not specifically for children but adult onlies at any stage of life. In fact the first email I received was from someone who described themselves as a ‘pensioner’ and since 2000 I have had literally thousands of emails from people sharing their only child stories and experience. Many of these stores were incorporated in my doctoral research and others in my book.

    Over the years I have spent much time answering emails so in 2009 I set up an only child forum – OnlyChildAdult – so that people could speak to each other without having to come through me. Now this has been developed further and this new site is an opportunity for me to publish some of the emails I receive and also to share my research. It is always interesting to have thoughts and views from other onlies which I am happy to receive. I would also ask if you would give your permission to share some of these ideas/stories minus the details which would identify you if that is preferred.

    So many of the media stories are about the stereotype of the only-child and it is often forgotten how this stereotype might affect the only-child growing up in a sibling society. There is a lot of evidence that the negative only child stereotype affects parents of onlies which are demonstrated in articles in the press and various blogs – but what about the only children themselves? How does it affect them? The popular opinion, espoused by researchers such as Toni Falbo, is that there is no marked difference between only-children and those with siblings – BUT is this what only-children believe, feel or experience? Have a look at the stories and form your own opinion.

    This site is also about sharing some of the research I have completed and the articles I and others have written. There is also a section 'Guest Onlies' where people are invited to share their only child experience.

  • Guest

    I am the proud parent of a 5 year old only child. He is our first and our last child. Trust me when I say we encountered opposition. Both my family and my husband’s family “encouraged” us to reconsider. In the end we had to make the best choice for us. One child completes our family and we are very comfortable with our decision. Having one child carries a stigma for parents as well as for the child. My solution is to write a blog on only child parenting. I write about my experiences as a parent of an only child to help others make the decision on how many children is right for their family.

    I keep the pitfalls of only-child parenting in mind as I proceed through this thing called life. I took care of a child my son's age for the first 3 years of his life so he learned to share early-on. As I type, my son is playing with a friend who came home from church with us for lunch and fun. We went to a science museum last week with another of his friends. We don't give him everything he wants and require him to pull his weight with the family chores (age-appropriate).

    Despite the stigmas and overriding stereotypes, only children are very successful and significant contributors to society. Many very famous people were only children and (I dare say) some of the characteristics that made them successful were directly related to being the only child in their family. Their careers span the arts, science, sports, politics, and everything in between: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Ansel Adams, Lance Armstrong, Laura Bush, David Copperfield, Leonardo da Vinci, Gerald Ford, Indira Gandhi, Mahatma Gandhi, Alan Greenspan, Alicia Keys, Isaac Newton, Eleanor Roosevelt, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Frank Sinatra, Barbara Striesand, and Robin Williams to name a few.

    The bottom line is that no matter where you fall in the birth order (even if you are the only one) you will have strengths and challenges that you must overcome to be successful. I was the oldest of 2 children and my husband was the youngest of 3. We both had things to work through to be the best people God created us to be.