Some recent emails describing the only-child expereince

by on March 11, 2016

in Emails

Bernice: Here are two emails from different parts of the world, both have families and are happy but have had challenges as only-children.

A Female only: I am profoundly deaf, age 45 and loving partner with 2 teenagers and a baby. I live in Essex, my father passed away 12 years ago and my mum live in Warwickshire. I’m an only child which I do hate be an only child and often find lonely. It’s took me long time to realise what kind of my mum is and I think my mum might be a Narcissistic because for example my mum and her sister are looking after my grandmother whose have dementia.

This week my aunt is away in holiday so I asked mum can she come over to see me because mum haven’t meet my 3 months old daughter yet. So mum said mum is unwell with ear pain, long term sinus and piles which she claimed the nurse to do with her piles I am not sure if she tell the truth because I know sometimes mum exaggerate some of the story and her pathetic excuse have hurting me and upset me so much. It’s made it harder for me and I have no siblings to compare or advice so I have to think about the situation by myself and I find it harder to moan about mum pathetic excuse to friends or my own family. I sent mum an email explained to mum that mum have hurt and upset me also explain mum 3 months ago I had a major tummy operation a C section and after the operation I can’t washed myself so rely on my
partner help washed me and look after our baby at the same time, last week I was diagnosed with pelvis girdle pain and will go back to physio for another treatment in 2 weeks time. Then yesterday doctor
refer me to a skin clinic because I have irregular and new mole. Mum said she have list of moles! And she said I should count my blessings !

We often go over to see mum twice a years and last time she came over visit me was in 2009. I need my mum and I want my mum listen to me but she didn’t listen to me and everything is all about her it’s made me feel annoying and hurting. Sometimes I feel I have no parent at all.

This weekend is mother’s day and when I looked for mother day card it’s hard for me because most are aim for wonderful mother and my mum is lovely but it’s all about her so I choose plain and simple mother’s day card with nothing praise on it. I feel like crying and want to get this off my chest.

A male only: I’m 37, not only am I an only child, but only grandchild as well. I do have some 1st cousins on my mothers side but they all lived 8+ hours away from me, therefore anytime I got to see them was once or maybe twice a year. My dad’s family lived 3 hours away which did include my aunt and uncles but still I didn’t live close enough to visit these relatives on a daily basis. ALSO, my parents divorced when I was way 17.

Currently I am married for 11 years and have TWO boys (no way would I have an only child BUT 2 is enough!) My mom is still single (who just lost her mom) and my, retired Air Traffic Controller, dad is married to a woman who has 2 children that are around my age. So, needless to say, it’s been a challenging life without adding too many specifics. I won’t go into too many details with ya because I know you’re
swamped, but I do very much appreciate you taking time in creating this website and stories for us “Onlies” to see and share. So, I’ll leave you with this, thanks again!

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