A Shout Out! – from a parent of an only

by on September 4, 2015

in Guest Onlies

When an only child marries an only child, and then has one child, the situation can seem quite isolating for that child. I know as an only, married to an only, this was behind my decision to have a second child. I also have learned that for many people having a second child is often prompted by the feeling that an only child will be alone in the world once the parents die. However this is not the end of the story. I have friends who are adult onlies, who have chosen to find other onlies to make friends with, to support each other over the ups and downs of parents ageing and the inevitable sense of loss when they are gone.

I received this email, which I think sounds like a good idea, to create a group of friends etc. to support a son who is an only child. Its no always possible to have a second child but there are other ways! I invite others to respond to the “Shout out” and share their ideas. Bernice

Parent on an only: 

Ours is an extended only child situation. I am an only child. I’m married to an only child. And we have just the one – our son. An only child.

This morning, while on my daily walk, I had a sudden urge to try and find a way to create a group of friends, family, crowd sourced strangers who would stand by our son when we were gone. He has no cousins, no uncles, no aunts. Just the lonely world of an only child.

I was thinking of starting a special interest group online. I thought of trying to track down my cousins who I had lost touch with. Just desperate to establish some connection, some sense of family, of common DNA.

When both my wife and I are gone, and our son is alone, hopefully he’ll be on his own two feet, perhaps an adult, perhaps with his own family, loved ones he had made his very own. But what if… Who’s going to be there at his son’s or daughter’s wedding? Not only did we challenge him with being an only child, we were late into parenting. Bleak. Pretty bleak. And sad.

This is a shout out. On googling ‘only child’ this was one of the first pages I came across, so I am writing in here. We’ll have to future this out as a family of three. Three only children.

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