All By Yourself?

by on April 7, 2014

in Bernice's Posts

Bernice: I was very pleased to receive this email after my last post – it made me smile and I hope it will do the same for you!

S: “Reading all these only child observations, makes me laugh…

I was an only child growing up in the 60′s and 70′s. Between Dr. Spock’s book and a community of many multiple children families, it wasn’t easy for me. There is glaring envy/ jealousy from children that come from large families and who perceive onlies as “having it all’.

We had a large extended family so I NEVER realized I was an only until I went to school. As years went on, I have always found children of large families to be cruel to each other. They never appreciate their siblings as someone you will have the rest of your life. As adults, most have no contact with the cruel siblings for the treatment they received from them.

But I don’t think the children that envy onlies realize this: As an ONLY you : go to the heart specialist with your parent at a very young age, go to the attorney to have the family will made out, to find that you must be left with a guardian should anything happen, experience the untimely death of a parent at a young age, speak to all doctor’s of the surviving parent alone, put the surviving parent in a Nursing Home, Decide on DNR or not, and after death divvy up personal effects and home, ALL BY YOURSELF!!!

Most individuals don’t have the singular strength to do so. These responsibilities are on an only AT ALL TIMES!!!!

Still envious? It’s not for everyone. Usually only children are not children for very long, and accept their fate.

They don’t have a choice!”

  • MobyK

    Thank you for this post. I’m an only child in my mid 30s with divorced parents who are both still single, and for the first time in my life I wish I had a sibling whom I can share the care and my concerns for my parents with. For this reason alone, which you have articulated so well, I feel the pressure to have a second bub (my son is 1.5yrs old) so my kids don’t have to face this burden , which feels so isolating.

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