December 2012

Are only child adults difficult partners? (Space and Intimacy)

Only child adult challenges in relationships: 1.   Introduction 2.  Dealing with the need for space and intimacy 3.  Dealing with conflict 4.  Dealing with one’s own parents This is my second post on ‘Are only children difficult partners?’ All human beings have a need for both intimacy and space. However many adult only children have often been brought up enjoying a lot of personal space, because they have not had to share with this siblings. However experiencing periods of time alone or at least without play mates may mean they and have found important ways to be on there own and use time in ways that does not necessitate people. A lot of only children enjoy their own company (see Trooper and Arianna’s stories). So much so they may choose not to have partners themselves. However those of us who do, may find it hard at times to share space with a partner. Living alone can seem [...]

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Are only child adults difficult partners? (Introduction)

Of course not! I want to take up the challenge offered by ChildOfonly in June 2012: ‘Does Bernice have any suggestions about how to get an only, of whatever age, to start beginning to gain perspective on life?’ I am always very pleased when I get responses to my posts. I do try and incorporate them in updates on new topics or as a result of further ideas that are raised by people’s responses. This series of posts have come out of my thoughts concerning a previous post: ‘So how does the only child adult deal with conflict?’ The responses received from this post were primarily from women who wrote about partners who can only deal with conflict by walking out, as Asmira found: “It was not until I had been married for a few months that I realised this grown up only child didn’t know how to deal with conflict in our relationship. [...]

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What should I do?

I am a single parent to a wonderful ‘only’ boy. He is 5 years old and I naturally think he is a genius, as most mothers do. I have read some of your posts, I appreciate the varied topics and I plan on reading more. My son and I recently moved across country for a new job and I do not have a large network of friends, especially those with children his age. He has been in daycare since the age of 10 months old and has always been around other children at daycare and now school. His Kindergarten teacher recently stated: “He needs to listen to his friends before he goes ahead with his own agenda. His actions can sometimes be viewed as disrespectful by his peers.” This has me a little concerned. He is not a mean child, nor is he aggressive, however, this leads me to believe [...]

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