September 2011

Janel: 18 year old only

Being an only I am an only child who lives with my two parents. Since dad was from a family of ten children and mom was one of eight children, sharing possessions as children translated in such charity of today. On the other hand, I was raised as an only child who did not share much with them because I received all of their attention and resources. Therefore, I see myself as a little adult because my mom and I always talked about the news, politics, and good books. She also took me on field trips to different places within the tri-State area; in fact, my dad always bought me expensive gifts at times and tried to teach me life lessons that were often more humorous than serious. Being surrounded by just my two parents all my life was highly influential, yet sometimes it seemed overbearing. What I need as [...]

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The Best Reasons for Having More Than One Child

Here is an article by April Peveteaux September 2011 who is reviewing a new book on the importance of siblings which talks about similar things that my research raised. April Peveteaux It turns out my rah-rahing for having a second baby is actually backed up by science. Who knew? Well now we all do thanks to this new book The Sibling Effect by Jeffrey Kluger, and his interview on Salon. Kluger tell us that yes, siblings really do matter. And if you have one, you should take full advantage of that relationship, because it’s the only one you’ll have for your entire life. Kluger acknowledges that not everyone has an awesome relationship with their brothers and sisters, but after he shows why it’s so important, he encourages us all to pick up the phone and foster closeness with the sibs. Something we should also try and do with our own [...]

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Does birth order matter?

Whilst birth–order as a subject for research is highly debated, many interesting aspects of such research have been collected by Frank Sulloway in his book: Born to Rebel. In my experience only children vary enormously but there are certain characteristics which are not uncommon in people with siblings but often constellate in only children as a result of their parenting – particularly if it has been overly intense which can lead them to be distant and hard to negotiate with. Here is an email, which is an interesting perspective from an eldest child. Bernice Email from Rob I’ve just found your blog and want to tell you how important this has been for me. I’m 42 years old and have just experienced to most upsetting experience of my life with a only child partner that I was deeply committed to and had believed that we both were looking forward to [...]

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My parents are my life..but when they die..

This is the first time I have reached out to research “being an only child” I do often think about it and I was glad to find your website. It is hard to know if being an only is what has made me the way I am or is it just emotional problems stemming from many experiences in my life. I do however, know this; I despise being an only and have pictured in my minds eye, the concept of having a brother or sister to the point that I really think (for a second) I could feel what it “felt” like to have that. Sounds a bit crazy, but is true. It has brought me to tears. I find I feel very lonely, especially when other friendships OR relationships are not meeting my needs. Both of my parents (in there late 50″s) have health problems that I bear wastefully [...]

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