When I was younger I experienced the classic only child upbringing and although I always wondered why I did not have siblings and often wishing I had built in playmates, my only child status does not get to me as it does now.
I believe that my only child status helped me to be more creative, comfortable with being alone and willing to take social risks.
In terms of being able to relate to the world at large I think it has been a plus, I am comfortable diffusing energy….in terms of intense one-on-one relationships I feel that I have always been at a disadvantage, feeling a kind of discomfort that I felt in my own intense mother-father-daughter triad
I worked hard at adopting myself to large gregarious family situations…friends with lots of sibs, cousins and co-housing with lots of roomates are just a few examples. I feel that I have been constantly in search of groups that can fuel gaps in my only intense family triangle. I started my own business when I was in my 20′s, a bike touring company for which I would lead groups of people through the Tuscan countryside. I found this very comforting as in many ways it was a way for me to have my only large family.
I was very attached to this experience. I think that being an only child has help my entrepreneurial drive and innovative way of seeing things
My mom died two years ago which put my sadness around not having siblings in full focus. I have three young children and to watch them and adore they way
to grow together and learn so much about just getting along reminds me of how much I missed out on.
I feel that I have had to work very hard at communication. Because in an only child setting, conflicts cannot get diffused nor are there many points
of view, I find myself very impatient with conflict and feel the need to resolve it quickly. Communicating with parents is one thing, another is
having intense conflict over a toy, working it out and then playing lovingly then next moment.
