January 2011

Did you ever long for a sibling?

Having skimmed your website several times, I now write to share my situation. I am now 31 year old Only Child myself, I had a comparatively privileged upbringing (a world of Private Schools, Ponies and all the toys you could every wish for plus a few!!) and always knew I was loved by my parents. My upbringing was not harsh or unhappy, although the rows were plentiful between both my parents themselves and them and myself, in fact I would say I had a great childhood with many happy memories. But I always longed for that sibling Any thoughts anyone has would be welcomed!………….Anna Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Share on technorati Tweet about it Subscribe to the comments on this post Bookmark in Browser

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Was I lucky? Was I spoilt?

I am a 54 year old only child living in Australia. My father was 42 and my mother 35 when I was born. I was assured by my parents when I was growing up that I was spoilt and luckier than other children because I had no siblings I had to share with. I believed this for some time, but as I grew older I realised it was a fallacy. I was given very few toys as this would spoil me, and clothes were basically hand-me -downs from cousins as my parents were convinced I would be over indulged otherwise. I played contentedly with my few toys – became very skilled with a tennis ball, lots of imagination games with my 2 dolls, yo yo’s were also a favourite with all the time I spent practicing tricks. Fortunately, when I did finally settle into school socially – about age 10 [...]

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The Only Child Personality: A Matrix

The diagram above is designed to introduce the complexity of the only child personality through the life span.  It is constructed as a result of my research that emerged from life-stories and interviews. The matrix has three strands of intra, inter, and extra – psychic to offer a three dimensional understanding of the way these three interact. At the centre of the only-child matrix is the intrapsychic, the private world of the only-child with two themes juxtaposed: that of the only-child’s feeling of specialness coupled with a feeling of aloneness and lack of connection to others. This is a result of never having been dethroned by a sibling, and at the same time missing out on the social and emotional learning a sibling provides. Without the ‘rough and tumble’ of sibling interaction, opportunities for dealing with jealousy, anger, envy and conflict, in the relatively safe environment of the home, are [...]

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