I have always felt lonely and different

by on November 4, 2010

in Stories

I was born in 1937, an only child of a very possessive mother, and a henpecked father. Both parents’ professional people, so from the age of five I was a ‘latchkey child’. I had to cook my father’s supper at the age of 11 years, as mother did not arrive home until late in the evening.

Although I had school friends, I suffered terrible loneliness at weekends and evenings. I always thought that I was adopted, as my mother never once showed me any affection, and my father was very official towards me.

I married and had 2 children (I was determined not to have just one). I had to divorce after 31years of marriage because of a violent and abusive husband. I had no brothers or sisters to support me, and I became even more isolated.

I am now a pensioner on my own, caring for my now 94yrs old mother, for whom I have no love whatsoever, only doing my duty. I do not burden my children with my depressive thoughts I have in my innermost being. I have always been extremely lonely and felt ‘different’ from my few friends and on occasions very jealous of their extended families. I have never been able to voice my feelings of complete isolation until now.

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