Alicia Staz who writes a blog called ‘Only Child Option’

by on September 22, 2010

in Guest Onlies,Parent of an only-child

I am the proud parent of a 5 year old only child.  He is our first and our last child.  Trust me when I say we encountered opposition. Both my family and my husband’s family “encouraged” us to reconsider. In the end we had to make the best choice for us.  One child completes our family and we are very comfortable with our decision.  Having one child carries a stigma for parents as well as for the child.  My solution is to write a blog on only child parenting.  I write about my experiences as a parent of an only child to help others make the decision on how many children is right for their family.
I keep the pitfalls of only-child parenting in mind as I proceed through this thing called life.  I took care of a child my son’s age for the first 3 years of his life so he learned to share early-on.  As I type, my son is playing with a friend who came home from church with us for lunch and fun.  We went to a science museum last week with another of his friends.  We don’t give him everything he wants and require him to pull his weight with the family chores (age-appropriate).
Despite the stigmas and overriding stereotypes, only children are very successful and significant contributors to society.
Many very famous people were only children and (I dare say) some of the characteristics that made them successful were directly related to being the only child in their family.  Their careers span the arts, science, sports, politics, and everything in between: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Ansel Adams, Lance Armstrong, Laura Bush, David Copperfield, Leonardo da Vinci, Gerald Ford, Indira Gandhi, Mahatma Gandhi, Alan Greenspan, Alicia Keys, Isaac Newton, Eleanor Roosevelt, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Frank Sinatra, Barbara Striesand, and Robin Williams to name a few.
The bottom line is that no matter where you fall in the birth order (even if you are the only one) you will have strengths and challenges that you must overcome to be successful.  I was the oldest of 2 children and my husband was the youngest of 3.  We both had things to work through to be the best people God created us to be.
Alicia Staz- The Only Child Option

Tagged as: challenges, parents of onlies, pitfalls, stereotype, stigma, strengths

  • Sandygrigsby

    i am a single parent with a single child, NEVER EVER would i say have a single child, it is not good for the child in any shape or form and only results in lonleyness no matter how hard you try to fill their void!

    • Maria Bicos

      that is because u must be a lousy mother!

      • Bernicesorensen

        I dont think this reply is very helpful Maria, perhaps you could offer something more constructive from you own experience of parenting?

  • Dearjohn

    No one should EVER CHOOSE to have one child! It’s a curse and unfair….20 years of therapy and still going. I cannot be upset anymore with my parents since they could not have any more children.

  • Annabella

    These comments from people who say they “would never” have an only child or that it’s “wrong” to “choose” to have an only child are quite selfish .
    If people who choose to have one child are selfish then equally those who point this out are just as selfish.
    Each individual has a right to do as he/she wishes.
    Is it a FACT that children with siblings are happier? Is it?
    I didn’t think so…..

    • Bernicesorensen

      And equally true is the so called FACT only children are happier like the media often suggest: see article – Are only children happier?   I don’t think so!

  • Petra

    Oh for goodness sake. Only children are indiviual and grow up with a unique and individual personality. I have one child. I have ade sure that we are surrounded by people and children much of the time so that she learns all the socialisation skills she needs for later life. I chose a school that sees socialisation and “famillies” in a very broad perspective ie that education is as much about learning how to interact with others. My child is loved adored and happy.  She is nurtuing and caring of others, is strong, spoilt stroppy adoreable, clever passionate and hilarious. EXACTLY like all the other 6 year olds around her. A sad only often comes from a sad family where loss and dysfunction is inherent in the parenting around it.
    I  had two sisters and grew up alone, frightened, loney and sad. I felt less loved and less attractive and generally less important.
    My daughter is special, wanted and HEARD. her opinions count. yet there is dicipline too.
    The number of siblings you have is a smoke screen
    Its the childhood experience you have that dictates how you will grow up

  • plummy_mummy

    Mahatma Gandhi had 3 siblings …they were children his dad had with his former wives. 

  • Anonymous

    You have ruled that your child will only know the love of a parent. He will have one close family relationship and that is with  someone not of his generation.
    Yes he will be spared the trials of sharing your attention and your resources and he will feel special and unique.
    It is when you become old that he may wish he had a sibling.

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