January 2010

I don’t regret being a singleton!

I am the quintessential only child. I am an only child, and on my mother’s side was the only grandchild and only great-grandchild for 18 years. As my parents seperated when I was very young and I was then raised by my mother with very little association with my father, I did not and do not now know my paternal cousins. Certainly there are distinct disadvantages to being an only. It has taken me a long time to realize that people tease others jokingly when they like them as often as they tease others cruelly when they don’t. My chosen profession as a copy editor points to my extreme perfectionistic tendencies. The white-hot attention paid to me by my mother, grandparents and great-grandparents was as much of a gift as it was a curse and I fight the tendency to run back to the comfort of my “by myself “safe [...]

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My Sixteen Tips for parents’ of an only child

I receive a lot of emails from parents who have only one child and feel they are being pressurised into having more. They are often labeled selfish and are made to feel they are doing a terrible thing. Bringing up a child, with or without siblings, is a challenging experience, and we can get it right or wrong either way. Having more children does not guarantee happiness for anyone. Having an only child has its own challenges both for parents’ and the child itself. Ultimately I think it’s best to have the number of children that suits your family. One, or more than one, which ever is best for you. The problems only children can experience being an only one can easily be counteracted, by ensuring that they are not over-protected and are given lots of opportunities to interact with other children. I would never encourage any one to have [...]

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