Only Child Experience
This website was set up by me, 10 years ago, to help with my research into the “Only Child Experience” from the point of view of the only child at every stage of life, so this site is not specifically for children but adult onlies at any stage of life. In fact the first email I received was from someone who described themselves as a ‘pensioner’ and since 2000 I have had literally thousands of emails form people sharing their only child stories and experience. Many of these stores were incorporated in my doctoral research and others in my book (see below).
So many of the media stories are about the stereotype of the only-child and it is often forgotten how this stereotype might affect the only-child growing up in a sibling society. There is a lot of evidence that the negative only child stereotype affects parents of onlies which are demonstrated in articles in the press and various blogs - but what about the only children themselves? How does it affect them? The popular opinion, espoused by researchers such as Toni Falbo, is that there is no marked difference between only-children and those with siblings – BUT is this what only-children believe, feel or experience? Have a look at the stories and form your own opinion.
Over the years I have spent much time answering emails so in 2009 I set up an only child forum – OnlyChildAdult - so that people could speak to each other without having to come through me. However it is always interesting to have thoughts and views from other onlies which I am still happy to receive. I would also ask if you would give your permission to share some of these ideas/stories minus the details which would identify you if that is preferred. In this way I can share some of my research with you and others on a new ‘blog’ I am setting up.
The Only Child: Debunking the Myths Read more:www.time.com
Let me know what you think - either by email (on the right) - or go to the OCA
Only Child Adult Forum
New Book!:
'Only Child Experience and Adulthood'
by Bernice Sorensen published by Palgrave
For more information go to the Noticeboard
Only Child Adult has been set up by me to offer you a voice as a fellow adult only child. The fact you have found www.onlychild.org.uk means you have some interest in finding out more about only child experience.
Go to Only Child Adult and see what we can offer you and what you may want to contribute to us. We hope you will want to join our new community in supporting and counselling each other whilst witnessing each others lives.
Sign up again! Unfortunately the OCA community went down in January but we have rebuilt it and are hoping all our old members will re-register.
Counselling, Psychotherapy and Supervision for West Dorset, Devon and Somerset
Useful Reading
Surprisingly there is not much to be read that is in print! However a new book on the experiences of growing up an only child will shortly be avaiable and is written by well known adult authors who are only-children in the US:Seigal, D. Uviller, D.(Eds) (2006) Only Child - Writers on the Singular Joys and Solitary Sorrows of Growing Up Solo. Random House, US. A highly enjoyable read, giving lots of examples of the different aspects of growing up an only child by some well known authors.
Falbo T (1984) The Single Child Family. York: Guilford
Can be ordered from British library. Lots of quantative research studies, not recommended if you are not user friendly with statistics. However a seminal work which most other books base their statistics on. Out of print
Laybourn A (1994) Only Child: Myths and Reality. London: TSO
Useful book for parents and by a British researcher, somewhat polemical in saying the only child experience is not different, and unfortunately out of print
Nachman P and Thompson A (1997) You and Your only Child: The Joys, myths and challenges of raising an Only Child. New York: Harper Collins
Useful material for parents, with an US slant
Newman, S. (2001) Parenting an Only Child Broadway Books
Probably the most available book, the message is ‘positive’ for the only child: they are an advantaged group, enabling parents to have it all. Very much written for US market.
Pitkeathley J Emerson D (1994). Only child. London: Souvenir Press
Recommended as both readable and useful to only child adults as well as parents, very inclusive, although some people find it not ‘positive’ enough! The good news is it is back in print!
Pickhardt, Carl. (1997) Keys to Parenting the Only Child. Barron’s Parenting keys: New York.
Best book I have read for parents. He really looks at the dilemmas for the only child and for the parents. Out of print.
Pickhardt, Carl. (2008) The Future of Your Only Child, Palgrave, USA.
I am eagerly awaiting for a copy and will write my thoughts when read.
Roberts L and White Blanton P (2001) ‘I Always Knew Mom and Dad Loved Me Best’: Experiences of Only Children. Journal of Individual Psychology. Volume 57:2 P125 – 140 University of Texas Press
Interesting article, worth reading even though based on US experience
Sifford D (1989) The only Child: Being One, Loving One, Understanding One, Raising One New York: G.P. Putnam’s Sons
Journalistic and at times rather contradictory. The author is an only-child and is very pro the experienc. He shares much of his own life, which to my mind though great, hardly supports his case!
